Porn Industry Wants Its Share of Bailout Loot

Here‘s where your money may go next, after the State has moved on from bailing out bankers, brokers, and Detroit:

Girls Gone Wild CEO Joe Francis and “Hustler” magazine publisher Larry Flynt have said they will petition Congress for financial aid along the lines of what the Big Three auto makers are getting.

Francis said that he and Flynt are asking for $5 billion, and that they have sent letters to Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson, Congress and their local Congressman, Henry Waxman (D-Calif.) with the proposal.

Porn merchants have learned from watching the theatrical antics of Detroit’s jewel-encrusted mendicants.

Francis said that if invited, he and Flynt would drive across the country in a hybrid vehicle to present their plans to Congress.

Bureauweenies won’t want to miss this opportunity to partially nationalize another sector of our formerly free economy.

Francis said he and Flynt would also be willing to discuss the possibility of the government buying equity stakes in their companies, as was done with financial firms.

“If the government would like to be a partner with Mr. Flynt and I, we’re certainly amenable to it,” he said.

Flynt, known by some as “the Conscience of the Democratic Party,” has partnered with the government before, when he helped Slick Willie dig up dirt on Republicans who found his felonious behavior less than acceptable. Lowlife friends in high places matter more than merit it post-capitalist America.

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The Conscience of the Democratic Party wants his cut too.

On tips from Kristy and Bernie D. Cross-posted at Moonbattery.

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