The Most Fascinating Incident Of The Year — Well, In The Bathroom At A Football Game Anyway

As a student of human nature, I was absolutely FASCINATED by this story,

Lois Feldman of Carroll, Iowa was enjoying a one sided college football game (55-0) between her beloved Iowa Hawkeyes and the Minnesota Gophers last weekend when she suddenly opted to engage in a quickie sex romp with a stranger in the Minneapolis Metrodome men’s room and “ruined her life.”

The 38 year old fan and mother of three attended the game with her husband, who declined an invitation to accompany his wife to the restroom. She set off on her own and the next thing she knew, she was being thrown around by police officers in a handicap stall of the men’s bathroom after engaging in sex with a 26 year old stranger while more than a dozen people cheered them on.

The male half of the impromptu liaison was identified as Ross Walsh of Linden, Iowa. He was at the game with his girlfriend, who took him home after police released him to her. Feldman used a fictitious name but police were able to track down her husband in the facility and released her to him. It was probably a long ride back to Iowa for both couples.

The newly bonded ‘odd’ couple were each charged with misdemeanor indecent conduct. Luke Huck, the first police officer on the scene, described them as upset, intoxicated and uncooperative. The offense could result in a fine and a 60 day jail sentence.

Lois calls her behavior uncharacteristic and believes she was drugged. Her husband blames himself for not realizing she was too intoxicated to head off to the bathroom on her own. She was subsequently fired from her job as an administrator at a Carroll retirement home. That bombshell was dropped on her yesterday.

Lois Feldman The woman in question? Her name is Lois Feldman, she was apparently roaring drunk, and, yes, you are looking at her picture. She looks pretty snappy for a 38 year old mother of three, doesn’t she?

Now, I want you to imagine how this went down: this 38 year old woman leaves her husband sitting in the stands and runs into a 26 year old guy whose girlfriend is also in the stadium.

Then, they meet — you would assume they had some sort of short conversation — and next thing you know, they are walking through what must have been a crowded men’s bathroom to a stall, where they engaged in drunken monkey sex while a dozen people laughed and cheered them on.

From there, the police busted in — presumably before they could finish, since they were still in the stall when the cops arrived — and took them back to their significant others.

Can you imagine that conversation?

Mr. Feldman: Officer, is there something I can do for you?

Police Officer: Is Lois Feldman your wife?

Mr. Feldman: Yes, is something wrong?

Police Officer: Ok, now I know you sent her to get some popcorn. Well, she didn’t waste your money on that stuff. It’s totally over priced. That’s the good news!

Mr. Feldman: I…I…didn’t send her to get popcorn.

Police Officer: In that case, there is no good news — and the bad news is that your wife was having bathroom stall sex with a stranger in front of a dozen cheering onlookers.

Beyond that, there are so many unanswered questions about this whole incident; for example, what was the ride to Iowa back from Minnesota like for the Feldman family? Is there anything in Lois Feldman’s background that might explain this? Is it possible that Feldman and Walsh knew each other previously, perhaps over the net (She says “no.”)?

If not, if this is just what it appears to be, two drunk people meeting and hooking up for sex in a stadium bathroom so quickly that they never even learned each other’s names, I think the real question is: what in the world was the conversation like? I mean, two people getting together for sex in a public bathroom isn’t absolutely unheard of, but the fact that their significant others were in the building and the speed with which it occurred is amazing.

So you have to wonder: did he drop some cheesy pick-up line like, “Your father must be a thief because he stole the stars and put them in your eyes,” and she turned out to be the only woman on earth who found that charming? More realistically, I’m thinking that she must have initiated it. How else could it have proceeded that quickly?

PS: If you are wondering what Walsh looks like, I found a pic:

PS #2: This reaction from Feldman shows you why a lot of men tend to have, fairly or unfairly, a little extra skepticism about rape charges,

While police say a high-profile indecent conduct case in the Minneapolis Metrodome Saturday is closed, a Carroll woman involved in it told the Daily Times Herald she believes she was a victim of foul play rather than a willing collaborator.

Lois K. Feldman, 38, of Carroll, and Ross M. Walsh, 26, of Linden, were ticketed for indecent conduct after they were reportedly caught engaging in sexual activity in a Metrodome men’s restroom handicapped stall during the University of Minnesota Golden Gophers game with the Iowa Hawkeyes. More than a dozen people in the restroom were cheering Feldman and Walsh by the time authorities arrived, a University of Minnesota Police report says.

Feldman acknowledged drinking heavily before the game and says she doesn’t remember being in the bathroom.

“I would never ever do that,” Feldman said. “My kids are my life. I go to church every Sunday.”

Information obtained in police reports and during an interview with University of Minnesota Police Chief Greg Hestness revealed no suggestion or evidence that the incident was anything but consensual on the part of both Walsh and Feldman.

But Feldman tells the Daily Times Herald she may have been drugged or otherwise victimized.

“Everybody thinks something got put in my drink,” Feldman said.

…When asked to respond to Feldman’s suggestion that she is a victim of a crime, Hestness said: “All I can say is the actions went on for some period of time with many witnesses on hand and no one reported either party was objecting.”

Hestness said Feldman made no allegations to the officers at the scene about the incident being non-consensual.

“If the implication is lack of consent due to intoxication, I guess that could be true for either party, however, they declined the officer’s request to submit to an (alcohol test) so the extent of intoxication cannot be demonstrated,” Hestness said.

Translation: She got caught doing something she’s embarrassed about and her first instinct was to accuse the guy of drugging and raping her. Bad form, Feldman…

PS #3: Ross Walsh’s MySpace page, last updated in 2007.

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