This Week In Quotes: April 10 – April 16

“I had no idea how important this week’s nationwide anti-tax tea parties were until hearing liberals denounce them with such ferocity. The New York Times’ Paul Krugman wrote a column attacking the tea parties, apologizing for making fun of “crazy people.” It’s OK, Paul, you’re allowed to do that for the same reason Jews can make fun of Jews.” — Ann Coulter

“Go back to Washington Pelosi. The swamp is missing one of its crocodiles.” — eznsf

“Everyone now has a sacred cow in the tax code. For my money, the most sacred thing of all is our country and its growth, but the sacred cows have turned into a pack of wolves. On both the spending and the tax side, the wolves are devouring our children’s future.” — Ari Fleischer

“That DHS report warning about all manner of ‘right-wing extremists’ could be considerably shortened if it simply alerted law-enforcement officials to be on the lookout for people from ‘small towns (who are) bitter (and) cling to guns or religion or antipathy toward people who aren’t like them or anti-immigrant sentiment or anti-trade sentiment.” — Peter Kirsanow

“I wonder how it takes a village to raise a child, yet a father seems to be dispensable.” — Jewcy

“I mean, thanks, guys, but my idea of cutting back does not involve buying expensive furniture at 20% off; it involves not buying new furniture at all. And I’m preserving my sense of ‘living well’ by never, ever, ordering (shudder) pizza from Dominos–at least not while I still have a jar of peanut butter to my name.

Meanwhile, the hosts on QVC have apparently started prepending the phrase ‘We’re all watching our money these days’ to exhortations to buy teddy bears infused with daffodil-scented soy candle wax and similar necessities. Apparently we’re all watching our money from a distance, as it disappears into the gaping maw of Mastercard.” — Megan McArdle

More than a week after President Barack Obama’s cold-blooded killing of a local couple, members of the American news media admitted Tuesday that they were still trying to find the best angle for covering the gruesome crime.

‘I know there’s a story in there somewhere,’ said Newsweek editor Jon Meacham, referring to Obama’s home invasion and execution-style slaying of Jeff and Sue Finowicz on Apr. 8. ‘Right now though, it’s probably best to just sit back and wait for more information to come in. After all, the only thing we know for sure is that our president senselessly murdered two unsuspecting Americans without emotion or hesitation.” — The Onion

“Obviously, if the United States Navy hanged some eyepatched peglegged blackguard from the yardarm or made him walk the plank, pious senators would rise to denounce an America that no longer lived up to its highest ideals, and the network talking-heads would argue that Plankgate was recruiting more and more young men to the pirates’ cause, and judges would rule that pirates were entitled to the protections of the U.S. constitution and that their peglegs had to be replaced by high-tech prosthetic limbs at taxpayer expense.

Meanwhile, the Royal Navy, which over the centuries did more than anyone to rid the civilized world of the menace of piracy, now declines even to risk capturing their Somali successors, having been advised by Her Majesty’s Government that, under the European Human Rights Act, any pirate taken into custody would be entitled to claim refugee status in the United Kingdom and live on welfare for the rest of his life.” — Mark Steyn

“What’s the big deal? ACORN, MoveOn, and Soros get to pull puppet strings year after year, and that’s ok. But God forbid Fox News puts so much as its imprimatur on Tea Parties! No way! That’s too sinister, too insidious; and makes the whole movement illegitimate and inauthentic. Whatever…” — The Rhetorician

“What Obama proposes is a ‘post-material economy.’ He would de-emphasize the production of ever-more private goods and services, harnessing the economy to achieve broad social goals. In the process, he sets aside the standard logic of economic progress.

Since the dawn of the Industrial Age, this has been simple: produce more with less. (‘Productivity,’ in economic jargon.) Mass markets developed for clothes, cars, computers and much more because declining costs expanded production. Living standards rose. By contrast, the logic of the ‘post-material economy’ is just the opposite: Spend more and get less.

Consider global warming. The centerpiece of Obama’s agenda is a ‘cap-and-trade’ program. This would be, in effect, a tax on fossil fuels (oil, coal, natural gas). The idea is to raise their prices so that households and businesses use less or switch to costlier ‘alternative’ energy sources such as solar. In general, we would spend more on energy and get less of it.

The story for health care is similar, though the cause is different…” —Robert Samuelson

“A normal Hulk story is Bruce Banner trying to escape society with the tattered remains of his purple pants, then tripping into traffic or getting stepped on by a robo-suit until he turns into the Hulk. Once you see how accident-prone he is, it’s easy to see why he spends so much time as the Hulk. Whenever Bruce Banner bites into a burrito, it’s only after someone misplaced their swarm of poisonous ants wrapped in a tortilla. If Bruce Banner uses a vending machine, it is Vendor, awoken at last from His ancient slumber.” — Seanbaby

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