U.N. Protects Sea Horses, Ignores Sea Monkeys

U.N. Protects Sea Horses, Ignores Sea Monkeys: (2002-11-14) — The United Nations voted this week to protect Sea Horses, and several other species, but again ignored the plight of the Sea Monkey.

“We’re not asking for much,” said an unnamed Sea Monkey, whose cranial stalks give the appearance of a crown. “We just want some affirmation that we matter. And, we want the U.N. to make it illegal to flush our people down the toilet when the water starts to smell.”

The Sea Monkey, standing with his wife and two children in front of their small castle, said humans who buy Sea Monkeys are often disappointed by how small they are and how much they look like ordinary brine shrimp.

“Some blame the magazine ads for building false expectations,” he said, “but I think it’s intolerance and racism of the worst sort. It’s just the kind of thing that the United Nations was created to prevent.”

If you liked this piece of satire by Scott Ott, check out more of his work at Scrappleface.

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