10-Year Quest to ‘Free Willy’ Finally Succeeds By Scott Ott

A decade-long, multimillion dollar effort to ‘Free Willy’ has finally succeeded.

The beloved movie star killer whale, whose real name was Keiko, captured the hearts and minds of the global community as environmentalists attempted to mimic the finale of the movie by returning the captive orca to his natural environment.

“We’re happy to announce that Keiko died this week of pneumonia off the coast of Norway,” said a spokesman for the Free Willy-Keiko Foundation. “Although we were never able to break his co-dependency on humans we have finally succeeded in getting him to behave a bit like a wild orca again. Just like so many of his oceangoing brethren, Keiko stopped breathing and became food for scavengers. It was an intensely natural thing for a whale to do. It’s really a triumph of science and human compassion.”

Future donations to the Free Willy-Keiko Foundation will go toward an effort to return the Disney star, Nemo, to the wild.

If you enjoyed this satire by Scott Ott, you can read more of his work at Scrappleface.

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