38 Million Not Expected at DC Abortion Rights Rally By Scott Ott

by John Hawkins | April 22, 2004 1:39 am

Although several hundred thousand abortion rights supporters are expected to march[1] in Washington D.C. this coming Sunday, a spokesman for a major special interest group said its members would not attend the rally.

The American Association of Aborted People (AAAP), a political inaction committee, said none of its 38 million members would participate in the protest march.

“Since the landmark Roe v. Wade Supreme Court decision in 1973, our ranks have swelled by about 1.4 million per year,” said the unnamed AAAP spokesman. “So, we should be at the center of any debate about abortion. Unfortunately, none of our members could tear themselves away to attend the rally. But we’ll be there in spirit, if not in body.”

If you enjoyed this satire by Scott Ott, you can read more of his work at Scrappleface[2].