A Radical Islamists’ 11 Step Guide To Using The Toilet

Somebody must have forgotten to send the radical Islamist Brits over at Al-Muhajiroun the memo about Islam being a “religion of peace”. I say that because they have a bombed out pic of the White House on their front page and they have a “live discussion” coming up on Saturday that doesn’t exactly sound like the sort of thing Ghandi would approve of

“This Saturday’s LIVE talk on Paltalk will discuss one of the greatest forgotten obligations in Islaam – Hating false religions. Allaah (swt) orders the believers to hate all other religions, way of lives, creeds, doctrines and beliefs that contradict with Islaam, and one cannot be Muslim without to declare animosity and hatred towards kufr, bid’ah, shirk and nifaaq (Christianity, Judaism, Hinduism, Sikhism, Buddhism, Democracy, Freedom etc.).”

See? The radical Islamists really do hate us for our freedom.

But, I must admit, as someone who has never before pondered the theological implications of “wee-weeing” or “going #2,” the thing that really caught my eye was the 11 step guide to using the toilet.

Here are a few of the highspots…

— “Be careful of the 3 cursed things, urinating, defecating, (and flatulating) and spitting (with phlegm) in any sources (rivers, seas, oceans, wells etc) and in the middle of the road (where people walk) and from under the shade.” Abu Dawood 26, Ibn Majah 328″

— “IT IS FORBIDDEN TO URINATE IN WATER.”

— “You enter the toilet by the left, and leave by the right. (Foot)”

— “IT IS FORBIDDEN TO USE THE RIGHT HAND TO CLEAN YOURSELF.

Because everything with karama is done with the right, and anything with no karama, you do with the left.

Abu Qatada: “The Prophet (saw) said: “If anyone is urinating, he should not touch his private parts with his right hand, nor make istinja with the right. Nor have tanaffus (blowing in the food.)””

— “AL ISTINJA WAL ISTIJMAR (CLEANING BY WATER AND STONE)

Cleaning after urinating
– Shake it 3 times
– Dry with 3 stones (Istijmar)
(Or anything dry and absorbent)
– Wash it (Istibrar)
– Dry it

After Defecating
– Remove all faeces
– Dry the area with 3 stones
– Wash it
– Dry it (not necessary just for comfort)”

No wiping with the right hand? Using stones for toilet paper? Are there really people doing this right now in America? I mean does Louis Farrakhan have a bucket of rocks beside of a dry toilet in his mansion or is this just something they do out in the sticks in Sudan & Saudi? Enquiring minds want to know…

Hat tip to Tim Blair for finding this one.

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