Ahmed Qurei Claims Israeli Fence May Cut Into Their Killing By Marni Malarkey

Middle-East peace negotiations again fell through between Ariel Sharon and new Palestinian Prime Minister Ahmed Qurei this week, when the two met at President Bush’s Crawford ranch to try and broker a deal. The main point of contention proved to be the security barrier erected by the Israelis between Israel and the Palestinian territories in the West Bank.

“We absolutely need that barrier,” declared Israeli Prime Minister Ariel Sharon, “in order to protect our citizens from suicide bombers, gunmen, knife attacks and grenades.”

Palestinian leader Qurei said he “understood” Sharon’s concerns but felt that the Palestinian point of view was being overlooked. “While we see the need for the fence, in order to protect Israelis, what Mr.Sharon doesn’t seem to understand is that with that fence there, it is well near impossible for crazed Palestinian terrorists to get into Israel proper to kill people! I mean, how is a suicide bomber supposed to get into a Jerusalem market, or a Tel Aviv pizzeria, if there’s that [email protected] fence in the way? How is a Hamas loony, who simply wants to knife or shoot a rabbi, or an Israeli child, supposed to get into Israel with that barrier still there? It’s really hard for us to keep up our end of things if the security barrier stays.”

Following Qurei’s comments, a confused looking President Bush forced both leaders to wear Stetsons for a photo-op.

If you enjoyed this satire by Marni Malarkey, you can read more of her work at Broken Newz.

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