Blog Myths and Facts By Frank J.

As the mainstream media give more attention to blogs and more Americans hear about them for the first time, there are many myths about blogging being spread (many by the MSM itself). As a service to the public (an IMAO exists solely to the benefit of the public), I will now list those myths and the real facts about blogging.

BLOG MYTHS AND FACTS

MYTH: A blog is the mixture of hair and unidentifiable gunk that clogs up a drain.
FACT: “Blog” is short for “weblog,” and, while sometimes more disgusting than what’s found in a drain, blogs hardly ever interrupt the flow of water.

MYTH: Bloggers are partisan hacks.
FACT: We lack the editing and proofreading to have the status of “hacks.”

MYTH: Bloggers are just a bunch of ill-informed polemicists writing in their pajamas.
FACT: Not all bloggers wear pajamas while blogging. I myself wear boxers, a gun belt, and a bandolier. One of the contributors to Power line is famous for wearing a gorilla costume while writing.

MYTH: Bloggers are a bunch of ankle-biters to the mainstream media.
FACT: Our affect to the MSM is more akin to a strong kick to the groin. Thus, we are “groin-kickers.”

MYTH: Most bloggers are paid off by politicians to assert certain viewpoints.
FACT: Only 8% of bloggers are bribed for their viewpoints. The remaining 92% have too few readers to bother bribing them. OT, I would just like to once again gratuitously mention that Bush’s plan for Social Security is the way to go.

MYTH: Bloggers just criticize the media and have no new information to add.
FACT: Bloggers often add new information to the debate since there are so many of them in different parts of the U.S. and other countries with different expertise. For example, there is no better expert on what a jerk my coworker Simmons is than me. I know you stole my stapler, Simmons, and now the world knows!

MYTH: Bloggers are no threat to the mainstream media.
FACT: Many bloggers are mentally deranged to the point of being able to harm a news anchor and need to be carefully monitored by the government.

MYTH: People only blog for the money and the babes.
FACT: People also blog for power, out of sense of arrogance, and because they like the clickity-clack sound of the keyboard.

MYTH: Bloggers like to drink smoothies made from putting puppies in blenders.
FACT: Only one blogger does this. The average diet of a blogger is bourbon and Pop-Tarts.

MYTH: The Daily Kos is written by ten monkeys fighting over one keyboard.
FACT: It is also edited by Koko “Screw ’em” the Signing Gorilla.

MYTH: The most popular blog is Instapundit.
FACT: The most popular blog is mine. If you don’t read it everyday, you are dumb and ill-informed.

MYTH: Democratic Underground is a popular blog.
FACT: DU is actually a digital bulletin board and not a blog. It was started by Shannon Daughty of the University of Georgia as psychological experiment of what happens when a number of people suffering for diagnosable paranoid delusions interact online. So far, results are inconclusive.

MYTH: Blogging was predicted by Nostradamus as a precursor to the end of the world.
FACT: Most scholars believe the passage referred to is actually about Janet Jackson’s wardrobe malfunction. When clothes no longer operate properly, the end is nigh.

The satire was used with permission of Frank J. from IMAO. You can read more of his work by clicking here.

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