Boeing to Market ‘Mini-Predator’

Boeing to Market ‘Mini-Predator’

Boeing to Market ‘Mini-Predator’: Seattle — Buoyed by the success in the War on Terror by its Predator(r) unarmed drone plane that is able to deliver a bomb with pinpoint accuracy while being controlled thousands of miles away, the Boeing Corporation has rushed into production a miniature version to be marketed to the fathers of teenage daughters.

Fred “Sparky” Burke, Chief of Engineering for Boeing, is the mastermind behind the design of the “Mini-Predator.” “Let me tell you,” said Mr. Burke, “I’ve got five daughters ranging in age from 13 to 19, and you should see the scumbags they bring home. It’s enough to give a guy a heart attack. Well, the super-sensitive spy camera on the ‘Mini-Predator’ allows me to keep my daughters under constant surveillance when they’re out on dates. I just sit back in my La-Z-Boy and watch the direct downlink from my satellite dish. And if any dreadlock-wearing creep with tattoos and nose piercings even thinks about getting fresh with Bonnie Sue, Bobbie Sue, Daisy Sue, Jamie Sue or Cindy Sue, it’s wrath of God time. I’ve neutralized the last six boyfriends my daughters have had in addition to two prom dates.”

Many industry analysts believe that the “Mini-Predator” will increase Boeing’s bottom line by a factor of ten in just the first quarter of 2003 alone. Some economists, however, are more cautious in their predictions, citing the “Mini-Predator’s” potential to wreak havoc on the already weak insurance and condom industries.

If you liked this piece of satire by William Grim, you can see more of his work at Broken Newz.

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