Bush Admits He’s Trapped in Bubble — Satire By Scott Ott
President George Bush today, confirmed a recent Newsweek magazine cover story, admitting that he’s “living in a bubble” — isolated and aloof.
“I confess that I don’t wake up each day on the same planet as Newsweek’s editors,” said Mr. Bush. “So, I guess I’m isolated from the world where the U.S. is always wrong, terrorists have legitimate rights, Cindy Sheehan formulates sound foreign policy, record employment figures and falling gas prices signal imminent economic doom, civil rights are endangerd by preserving heterosexual marriage, abortion is the most valued freedom for women and the federal government fulfills the role of the father, the mother, the church and the local government.”
Mr. Bush said he agreed with the Newsweek assertion that he “may be the most isolated president in modern history.”
“I admit,” said Mr. Bush, “that I’m almost completely isolated from public opinion pollsters and journalists who start with answers and craft questions to elicit them. I’m virtually cut off from believing the non-stop barrage of negative news about an emerging democratic nation that will have three legitimate elections this year after decades of dictatorship. I’m aloof from the world in which bitter critics with no vision are treated as diplomats and sages.”
Mr. Bush added, “When you see a shimmering, transparent bubble wall, you gotta ask yourself: which side of it am I on?”
This satire was used with the permission of Scrappleface.