Bush Campaign Shift: Now, It’s a One-Man Race By Scott Ott

President George Bush today announced a major strategy shift in his re-election campaign brought on by what he described as “the failure of my nominal opponent to present a single reason voters should support him.”

The Bush-Cheney campaign will now simply ignore John Forbes Kerry, the Democrat candidate and Vietnam veteran who is also a U.S. Senator.

“It’s hard to mount an entire campaign against an opponent who has no record, no bedrock values, no consistent positions, no new ideas and only wants to talk about something he hasn’t done for 35 years,” said Mr. Bush. “So far, the fight has been between me and anti-me…Bush against hate-Bush. From now on, we’re looking at a one-man race for the presidency.”

Campaign insiders said TV and radio ads will no longer mention the Democrat candidate, but will simply focus on the president’s record and his vision for the future.

“I can’t change people whose hearts overflow with hatred,” said the president. “So I’ll just focus on rallying those whose minds are still open. We’re going to target what you call your sentient beings.”

If you enjoyed this satire by Scott Ott, you can read more of his work at Scrappleface.

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