Bush Declares War On Helen Thomas — Satire By Liberal Larry
The Shrub was handed a golden opportunity (yesterday) morning to level with the American People about his real reasons for attacking Iraq, reasons that Helen Thomas would be more than happy to explain to him if he’d just open his ears and listen. Instead, he used the solemn third anniversary of his illegal and immoral quagmire to exude an unrealistic confidence in our military and its mission, while insulting a beloved American icon in the process.
Helen Thomas, the Great Dane of the Washington press corps, has been the voice of honest journalism for over 175 years, and a thorn in side of both Batman and Commissioner Gordon. Her tough, take-no-prisoners style of questioning has often been mistaken for thinly disguised partisan attacks with question marks at the end of them, but she has inspired generations of progressive journalists with her dauntless courage in the face of a fascist administration, and the throes of a crippling mental illness. Since she was diagnosed with severe senile dementia in 1971, she has been unafraid to broach the questions more rational and sane reporters wouldn’t dare to. It’s a miracle she can even remember who she is, let alone find her way to the White House for one of Bush’s Lie Sessions, and she deserves his respect. If the Shrub won’t confess his crimes against humanity, bring our troops home from Iraq, legalize marijuana and step down for the good of America, then he should at least do it for her.
This satire was used with the permission of BlameBush!.