Bush Nominates Nanny to Replace Kerik by Scott Ott

Just hours after Bernard Kerik withdrew his name from consideration as the next director of Homeland Security, President George Bush is reportedly set to nominate his replacement.

A senior administration official said the nomination would likely go to the illegal alien who once worked for Mr. Kerik as a nanny and was paid “under the table.”

“The president sees the nanny nomination as win-win-win on several fronts,” said the unnamed official. “She obviously knows how to penetrate our borders, so she’ll be terrific running Homeland Security. As a gainfully-employed illegal alien, she’ll help promote Mr. Bush’s guest worker visa initiative. And since Kerik didn’t pay into Social Security for her, she’ll help Bush promote private retirement accounts.”

The White House is withholding the name of the alleged nominee until she can be located and naturalized.

If you enjoyed this satire by Scott Ott, you can read more of his work at Scrappleface.

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