Can the Black Community Survive Hurricane Kramer? — Satire By Liberal Larry
Last week, a well-known and beloved comedian used his act as a platform to spew racial slurs and epithets. Then, after Chris Rock concluded his show in a standing ovation, Michael “Kramer” Richards launched into an unprovoked racist tirade against two helpless African Americans in the audience, utterly destroying their lives and throwing the civil rights movement back 2000 years.
In response, the Reverend Jesse Jackson called for the Black Community to boycott all Seinfeld DVDs or any other sitcoms produced by or starring Hymies. He also demanded that racial slurs be banned entirely, along with such derogatory expressions as “Extortionist”, “Shakedown Artist”, “Demagogue” and “Adulterer”. In addition, the Reverend Al Sharpton demanded that the phrase “Oh shut your self-righteous cakehole, you bloated jackass” be stricken from the English language.
Wonderful suggestions from two esteemed, self-appointed leaders of the Black Community. However, I’m afraid they don’t go far enough to stem the tide of racial bigotry that Kramer unleashed. His vile words reopened the Old Wounds of Slavery – wounds that usually only reappear around election time and can only be healed by piling large sums of cash upon the esteemed, self-appointed leaders of the Black Community.
Sedition is protected under the first amendment guarantees of free speech, yes. Hate Speech is not. A hefty fine must be exacted on all those who commit the unforgiveable crime of uttering the N-Word or it’s equally offensive substitute, “The N-word”. The resulting revenue would be deposited into a Swiss bank account registered in the name of the Rainbow / PUSH Coalition so that it can be used to the betterment of the Black Community.
Unfortunately, enforcing such anti-hatespeech laws would be next to impossible. It would probably be more realistic to simply impose a national N-Word Tax, as most people have spoken the N-Word sometime in their lives or plan to do so in the future. Rap artists and progressive bloggers would be of course be exempt. Tough measures for time tough times, but I’m sure that had Dr. King dodged Pappy Bush’s deadly bullet, he would have wholeheartedly approved.
The Black Community survived slavery. It survived Hurricane Katrina. It will quite possibly survive Cosmo Kramer, too. But can it ever forgive him?
Perhaps. But not until Uncle Jesse gets his benjamins.
This satire was used with the permission of BlameBush!.