Chance to Introduce Bill Had Hillary ‘Gulping for Air’ By Scott Ott

Senator Hillary Clinton said today that the opportunity to introduce her husband at the Democrat convention in Boston this month “thrills me beyond words.”

“When Senator Kerry asked me to be the warm-up act for former President Clinton, I was gulping for air,” Mrs. Clinton said. “I started crying and yelling at him: ‘Do you really mean it?'”

A Kerry campaign spokesman said Mrs. Clinton is a “logical choice to do the introduction, since she is among the dozen, or so, women who know Mr. Clinton best.”

The junior senator from New York has embraced the assignment.

“This is so much better than being a keynote speaker in primetime,” Mrs. Clinton said. “I was concerned that Senator Kerry might see me as a threat, and give me a marginal role at the convention or ask me to do something embarrassing or uncomfortable. But clearly this invitation shows that Senator Kerry respects me as an influential senator, best-selling author and one of the party’s top fundraisers.”

Mrs. Clinton confessed, however, that when Mr. Kerry first asked her to “introduce Bill” she thought “John needed pointers on how to introduce legislation in the Senate, since he hasn’t done much of that sort of thing during his 16 years as a senator.”

If you enjoyed this satire by Scott Ott, you can read more of his work at Scrappleface.

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