Democrats Say Bush Did Nothing to Stop Dinosaur Extinction By William Grim

by John Hawkins | March 29, 2004 12:02 am

Washington, DC – Congressional Democrats today denounced the Bush Administration for having done nothing to avert the extinction of the dinosaurs. Senator Barbara Boxer of California, ranking member on the Senate Dinosaur Extinction Oversight Panel, says that the Bush Administration came into office with no clear plan for dealing with nuclear-winter-causing giant meteors.

“The lack of a clearly defined giant reptilian extinction policy is just scandalous,” said Senator Boxer at a press conference this morning. “Even at this late date, there is still no unified and well thought out policy concerning dinosaur extinction emanating from the White House.”

Sandy Berger, National Security Advisor under former President Clinton, says that the Clinton Administration handed over to the Bush Administration in 2001 not only the most ethical administration in the history of the country, but also a complete and fully functioning dinosaur extinction policy.

“The Bush Administration really dropped the ball on this one,” said Mr. Berger yesterday on CBS’s Face the Nation. “If President Bush had followed our plan there would be brontosauruses swimming in the Potomac today. But the Bush Administration seems obsessed with the so-called War Against Terror.”

Speaking on ABC’s Good Morning America earlier today, Vice President Richard Cheney defended the Bush Administration’s record. “There are plenty of dinosaurs roaming the streets. All you have to do is take a peek in the Democrat Cloak Room in the Senate.”

If you enjoyed this satire by William Grim, you can read more of his work at Broken Newz[1].