Dems Reject Nominating Openly-Liberal Candidate

Democrat National Committee Chairman Terry McAuliffe said today that America is not ready for his party to nominate its first openly-liberal candidate in the post-Reagan era.

“Officially we have a ‘don’t ask-don’t tell’ policy regarding liberalism,” said Mr. McAuliffe. “No openly-liberal candidate will receive the nomination.”

The DNC manual suggests that secretly-liberal candidates refrain from public displays of affection for big government, higher taxes and weaker national defense. Studies show that while mainstream Americans favor tolerance for liberal ideas — like increasing government control of schools and tax-funded prescription drugs — they would rather call it something else, like “compassionate conservatism.”

Mr. McAuliffe said that none of the top Democrat candidates is openly liberal.

“Everyone knows that Dean is a fiscal conservative,” he said. “Lieberman is a social conservative, and John Kerry is a professional Vietnam veteran married to a wealthy heiress. If any of them are closet liberals, they only act on it in the privacy of their offices.”

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