“Did you just scream?” “No, sorry, that was my salad.”

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“Did you just scream?” “No, sorry, that was my salad.”

Written By : TrogloPundit

Via Jiblog, who asks: Plants Scream – What will vegans do now?!

The lovely scent of cut grass is the reek of plant anguish: When attacked, plants release airborne chemical compounds. Now scientists say plants can use these compounds almost like language, notifying nearby creatures who can “rescue” them from insect attacks.

How does that smell, you butcher, when you murder the carrots in your backyard garden? Does that smell real good?

A group of German scientists studying a wild tobacco plant noticed that the compounds it released – called green leaf volatiles or GLVs – were very specific. When the plants were infested by caterpillars, the plants released a distress GLV that attracted predatory bugs who like to eat the caterpillars in question.

Help me! Help me!

And, worst of all:

I think what’s most interesting about this study is the way it suggests that plants have a rudimentary form of language based on releasing these chemical compounds. These tobacco plants have the ability to modulate the signals they send out, depending on the kind of attack they’re suffering. Combine this discovery with the one a few weeks ago, that plants are able to perform simple computations, and it’s clear that the average person underestimates how much plants are dynamically engaged with their environments.

Okay, so, yes. The phrase “plants are able to perform simple computations” makes me want to facepalm and punch a hippie in the nose at the same time, which is difficult due to the visual obstruction created by the facepalm. If only I was a predatory bug that could home in by scent. Or…nah, forget I said that. Who wants to home in on a hippie’s scent?

Still. Read the whole thing, and I think you’ll agree: militant vegans really have little else to do now but eat each other on a volunteer basis. And, y’know, you’re gonna run out of volunteers pretty dang fast.

On the other hand, there’s always:

I’m just sayin’. Donuts want to be eaten.

Karma Hoser

Well then, the hippies just need to take a spoon with them to the bathroom when they have a bowel movement, and practice coprophagy!! Hey, they eat more plants than everyone else, plants release oxygen, so then vegetarians steal oxygen from the lungs of children!!

gfchicago

EWWWWW!!! You need to issue a ***MENTAL IMAGE ALLERT*** before posting something like that!!!

billdalasio

Just remember, there is a scientific name for vegans in nature: prey.

UFKA_Smithwick

Or “inept hunter/gatherers”.

Mahatma

Well Bruce Lee was a vegan. I'm pretty sure he was no hippie and looking at your photo I'm pretty sure Bruce Lee could kick your ass. So be careful who you facepalm would be my advice.

gfchicago

Bruce Lee is dead, and I really don't think he would give a rats heine about what a bloger had to say about vegans. I'm sure he would have bettrt things to do.

UFKA_Smithwick

I think what he's saying is that being a vegan leads to violence, death, and asian features.

I don't really want any of those so I'll stick with steak.

http://www.facebook.com/jayhoffer Justin Hoffer

Another outright lie from a lieberal. Googled “bruce lee vegan”, and the very first thing to come up was a vegan website denying that Bruce Lee was ever a vegan.

You should really learn to actually research something before making your ridiculous claims.

Mahatma

http://www.ivu.org/people/sports/

mightysamurai

http://books.google.com/books?id=UwlpC-S3j-gC&p…

The Art of Expressing the Human Body, by John Little

pg. 165

A Sample Daily Diet
Bruce Lee might start by eating a bowl of muesli or mixed cereal, which consisted of whole grains along with nuts and dried fruit. A modest lunch would then be taken at noon, with dinner following later on in the day. Linda recalls that she often made spaghetti or some other type of pasta for dinner, which would typically be served with a leafy green salad, but that the family more often ate meals consisting of rice, vegetables, and meat, chicken, or seafood. “We didn't have meat all the time,” she says, “and, of course, Bruce really preferred to eat Chinese or other Asian food because he liked the variety that it presented as well as the proportion of meat to vegetables. That is to say, that there is often more vegetables than meat in Asian dishes.”

Lee felt that Western food overall was rather monotonous, for it was usually restricted to only one entree, whereas with Chinese food there were usually several–shrimp with vegetables, chicken with vegetables, beef dishes (such as beef in oyster sauce, one of Lee's personal favorites), or other dishes prepared with foods such as tofu (bean curd). Such variety allowed for more balanced nutrition as well as making meals far more enjoyable, allowing you to eat a little bit of everything but not too much of any one thing. Lee considered this the best way to eat.

This is not to suggest that the Lees didn't consume Western food, or even visit McDonald's from time to time with agreeable results. “Bruce was fond of steak,” recalls Linda, “and for a while we even made a practice of having liver once a week.”

So, which do you propose we believe? A couple of vegan propaganda websites, or Bruce Lee's official biographer?

Bruce Lee was way to smart to fall for the idiotic vegan philosophy. As one of if not the most health-conscious individual who ever lived, Lee was well aware that meat products are an essential part of a balanced diet and cutting them out does nothing but diminish your overall health.

Mahatama

Well the second was this that said he was http://www.vegan-gal.com/famous_vegans.html

Next thing you know you'll claim your people didn't kill Jesus. Sheesh.

gfchicago

If you'll remember it was the Romans that killed Jesus.
http://www.facebook.com/jayhoffer Justin Hoffer

Then there were the other sources, if you'd cared to look. Bruce Lee ate meat.

And now, Jews didn't kill Jesus, the Romans did. Read your Bible.

mightysamurai

Come on, Justin. You know holding holy books makes liberals' skin sizzle.
http://www.facebook.com/jayhoffer Justin Hoffer

I wonder what would happen if it picked up a Dead Sea Scroll? Probably burst into flames.

http://www.wordaroundthenet.com Christopher Taylor

Romans killed Christ, racist, anti-Semitic filth.
UFKA_Smithwick

I'm not sure what point this would prove even if true (which apparently it is not).

Man but you leftists have a serious case of celebrity worship.

If *insert name of generic celebrity* says it's true then it must be! He/she is famous, and famous = wise!

I guess that explains a lot of y'alls policies. But try to think for yourself for a change.

Except for that no-vaccinations thing that Jenny McCarthy is on. You should totally refuse to get vaccinated.
UFKA_Smithwick

“Next thing you know you'll claim your people didn't kill Jesus. Sheesh.”

You're not stereotyping an entire group of people based on the actions of a tiny minority are you?

Hmm . . . I guess then it would be acceptable to say to any random muslim “your people killed those folks on 9/11″?

mightysamurai

Well Bruce Lee was a vegan.

Completely false. Bruce Lee was neither a vegan nor a vegetarian. In fact some of his favorite dishes were beef in oyster sauce, steak, and liver.

Mahatma

“yeah but I know he could kick your ass.

mightysamurai

…Is that supposed to be an argument?

Yeah, Bruce Lee could beat me in a fight. He could also beat you in a fight. And beat Muhammad Ali in a fight. And beat most Special Forces soldiers in a fight.

Did you have some sort of point to make or are you just desperately trying to deflect because you know we caught you in a lie?
http://www.wordaroundthenet.com Christopher Taylor

If you knew that why did you say he was vegan? Because you thought he was, jackass.

Rose

My son studied Bruce Lee's life and said RAW, UNCOOKED AT ALL BEEF was part of Bruce Lee's “Juicing/Blender” recipes, a long time ago.

Ruprecht67

“When the plants were infested by caterpillars, the plants released a distress GLV that attracted predatory bugs who like to eat the caterpillars in question.”

Okay, you could say the plant is communicating but more likely it is just emitting something without that intent, something more like sweat or blood, but something that the bugs have learned indicates food. I'll put the brainpower on the insects side in this scenerio. But then again I'm not M Night Shamalam either.
rjschwarz

Otherwise its a matter of time before Vegans are forced to eat roadkill and animals that have died of natural causes.
mightysamurai

I know this was kind of a joke post, but I've always wondered how animal-rights types can condemn eating meat but be okay with eating plants. I just don't see how their reasons for not eating meat can't just as easily be applied to plants.

Consider the various arguments made by animal-rights activists for not eating meat:

1. It's wrong to kill for food.
- Setting aside the general silliness of this argument (shall we also bring suit against lions, tigers, and bears for killing their food?), are not plants alive? Is it not necessary to kill them in order to eat them?

2. Food animals are raised in cruel and inhumane conditions.
- How are plants not also raised in similarly cruel and inhumane conditions? We steal their young (seeds), plant them in the ground against their will, bury them in filth, spray them with chemicals, and then when they get old enough we chop their heads off with giant machines. (We also pay farmers to wipe out millions of animals and insects every year to stop them from preying on food crops. So even if you go full-vegan out of respect for animal life you're still supporting the killing of animals.)

3. Animals are intelligent and therefore have a right to life.
- Animal-rights activists are often confronted with the argument that it's okay to kill animals because humans are intelligent and animals are not. Their inevitable response to this argument is that intelligence is a matter of perspective and just because a creature does not display human-level intelligence that does not give us the right to arbitrarily kill it. Of course once they do this they've hopelessly trapped themselves. If it's wrong to kill creatures of “lesser intelligence” because intelligence is merely a matter of perspective, doesn't that standard apply just as much to plants as animals? Who are we to say plants don't possess some level of intelligence, even if it's vastly inferior to that of a human or animal?

Rose

Specially when the jokes were out 50 years ago about the people who sing or pray over their plants and brag how much better they thrive for it.

If the plants are THRIVING from being sweet-talked by little old ladies, then how can anyone think it is ok to eat them?
Because plants don't have great big brown eyes like Bambi???

Vegans have to be tone deaf to not hear their tomatoes SCREAMING for Dear Life!!!
Mahatma

Not everyone that is vegetarian is a vegetarian because of animal rights. I choose vegetarianism because I find I am healthier as a result. I know MY cholesterol dropped nearly a hundred points after I quit eating meat.

Mahatma

well that and I visited a meat packing plant once.

mightysamurai

Wassamatta? Stomach feel a little wobbly when you found out how the real world works? Poor baby.

Ever see a lion run down a gazelle? No less brutal than anything that goes on in a meat packing plant.
StanW

Replying to your own posts again, Vega. What a joke you are!
http://www.wordaroundthenet.com Christopher Taylor

And there it is, the real answer. Eek its nasty and icky there! Meat doesn't really come from plastic wrapped packages in the store! I can't eat that, the cows looked so helpless and cute!

Pathetic.
UFKA_Smithwick

So have I (many, many times).

Didn't really phase me actually.

But whatever, as long as you don't try to prevent me from eating what I please then I don't really care what you choose to eat, or not.

mightysamurai

Not everyone that is vegetarian is a vegetarian because of animal rights.

I don't know how you expect me to respond to this since I specifically said I was talking about animal-rights activists who refuse to eat meat.

Either you're completely illiterate or you're completely stupid. I'm not sure which.

I choose vegetarianism because I find I am healthier as a result.

I know a guy who eats red meat every day for all three meals. He also claims to “feel” healthier for it.
sim427

you're cholesterol dropped right along with your intelligence level…

http://www.wordaroundthenet.com Christopher Taylor

It cracks me up how the same people who claim that billions of years of selective evolution creating a better and better, more survivable, more intelligent and capable being suddenly change their minds about it all when their activism gets in the way.

Consider this whole post: lets say he's right, that plant smells are some sort of defense mechanism and the equivalent of a cry of distress: plants smell good to us when they're cut; someone needs to make “newly mown lawn” cologne for men. Lemons smell wonderful when you cut them in half.

Evolutionists would say that's a natural evolutionary device for various reasons such as work and keeping the area clear from predators, food etc. If that's true, then we should be hacking these plants up just like we ought to be eating food we find especially tasty, like meat.

mightysamurai

Consider this whole post: lets say he's right, that plant smells are some sort of defense mechanism and the equivalent of a cry of distress: plants smell good to us when they're cut; someone needs to make “newly mown lawn” cologne for men. Lemons smell wonderful when you cut them in half.

In fact, the very reason for that smell is to encourage other creatures to pick them, cut them, and eat them.

Lemons, for example, smell good when cut open because their seeds are inside the rind and breaking the lemon open allows the seeds to get out and, eventually, grow into a new plant. As a result, lemon trees and other tasty/sweet-smelling plants have spread throughout the world.

The same is also true for livestock animals. Cows and chickens taste awesome so humans bred them like mad. As a result there are more cows, chickens, and other livestock animals alive today than there ever were a few thousand or even a few hundred years ago.

Being finger-licking-good has done more for the animal kingdom than a million years of evolution ever could.

Mahatma

Speak for yourself sammy. Lemons don't smell good.

mightysamurai

I'm sorry to hear that your years of illegal drug use has destroyed your sense of smell.

Rose

Baxter Black's “A vegetarian's Nightmare”

A MUST HEAR!

For those who have lived in the city all their borned days, Baxter Black is what is known as a Cowboy Poet.
Rose

This was on the Johnny Carson Show:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-zfzT7QfLZc

Baxter Black, “A Vegetarian's Nightmare”
Toastrider

Interesting tidbit:

Back when Jane Goodall was doing her groundbreaking studies on chimpanzees, she noted something: chimpanzees will do ANYTHING for meat. This leads to actions like 'fishing' for termites or ants, and 'begging' other chimps for a share of any prize they might have grabbed.

We are omnivores, but our metabolisms extract the most energy from proteins.

A friend of mine got married to a girl who does not eat beef. Note, just beef. It's a cultural thing to honor an ancestor (she's Taiwanese), and she doesn't bug people who do eat beef. She's also perfectly happy to eat pork, turkey, or chicken — so I guess it's all good :)

UFKA_Smithwick

Are there ever any sickly, tired looking apes that refuse to eat any sort of meat and attempt to steal and dispose of meat that other more vigorous apes have acquired?

Probably not, because if there were those vegetarian apes would immediately get beaten to death and probably eaten by the others (cannibalism being another habit noticed in other apes).

In some ways they are much more advanced than we are.

sim427

We clawed our way to the top of the food chain; its ridiculous to regress back to prey.
UFKA_Smithwick

So if all forms of eating are murder, why not go with the one that makes you happiest?

You're still a murderer, but at least you can be a content one.

Which really is all I've ever wanted.
http://www.facebook.com/jayhoffer Justin Hoffer

Here's something great for everyone, check out the song, “Carrot Juice is Murder” on YouTube.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KmK0bZl4ILM

This is actually rather appropriate for the article!

Ed Klein on ‘The Amateur: Barack Obama in the White House’

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