DNC Boss: Kerry, Edwards Went AWOL from Senate By Scott Ott

Democrat National Committee (DNC) chairman Terry McAuliffe today said that presidential candidates John F. Kerry and John Edwards have gone AWOL from the Senate, missing almost every Senate vote in the past three months, and perhaps longer.

“These men signed up to serve their country, yet they failed to show up for duty,” said Mr. McAuliffe, who earlier this week repeated spurious allegations that President George W. Bush had gone absent without leave from the National Guard in the early 1970s.

“I have reviewed the Senate voting records going back to the beginning of November 2003,” said Mr. McAuliffe. “They show that Sen. Kerry missed 32 votes and Sen. Edwards missed 30. These men draw six-figure annual salaries to represent the citizens of their respective states. If we had this kind of dirt on Bush during the 2000 elections, Al Gore would be sitting in the Oval Office today.”

Mr. McAuliffe said he came forward with the Senate AWOL charge because “American’s have a right to know whether their potential president keeps his commitments to voters.”

The DNC chairman noted that retired General Wesley Clark is the best candidate still in the race, “because nobody needs him to show up anywhere, and yet he does anyway. That’s dedication.”

If you enjoyed this satire by Scott Ott, you can read more of his work at Scrappleface.

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