Do Not Call List United Congress By Russell Lutz

In a breathtaking and unprecedented display of bipartisan courage, Representatives and Senators of Congress banded together almost unanimously to support the creation of a nationwide FTC Do-Not-Call list to block telemarketers’ calls to uninterested consumers. The vote was 412 to 8 in the House, and 95 to 0 in the Senate.

“We don’t care if this is or isn’t a popular measure,” said Democratic Senator Ted Kennedy. “It’s the right thing to do.”

These sentiments were echoed by House Majority Leader Tom Delay: “Sometimes you have to make the tough choices. I applaud our colleagues across the aisle for joining us in this difficult crusade for justice.”

President Bush has made it clear he will support this measure regardless of the possible negative impact to his standing with the nation: “Lincoln may have freed the slaves, but I’m freeing the people of this nation from harassment of telemarketers, and I don’t care who disagrees.”

In a related story, Representatives Rob Bishop (UT), Kendrick Meek (FL), Ted Strickland (OH), Chris Cannon (UT), Ron Paul (TX), Lee Terry (NE), Jeff Flake (AZ) and Tim Ryan (OH) will all be voted out of office this coming Election Day.

If you enjoyed this humor by Russell Lutz, you can read more of his work at The Skeptician.

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