France to Ban Berets By William Grim
Paris – After having just recently banned the headscarf from being worn in public schools, the government of France has decided to ban the wearing of berets as well.
“Like the headscarf, the beret is a symbol of intolerance, fanaticism and extremely rank body odor,” said M. Jean-Pierre Lapin, the French Minister for Culture, Haughtiness and Rudeness. “The beret just screams ‘France’, and right now being overtly French is bad for business, especially in the all-important American market.””
In order to stimulate the lagging French economy, the government has begun distribution of 40 million New York Yankees baseball caps and 30 million Roy Rogers Genuine 10-Gallon cowboy hats.
In related news, the French Interior Ministry announced today that anyone caught wearing a beret in public will be subject to a fine of € 10,000 and will be forced to watch Gerard Depardieu films non-stop for 48 hours.
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