Friends Don’t Let Friends Carry A Murse

Are you a man who has been shamed into urinating while sitting down? Well, the the Chicago Tribune has found the perfect product to take with you to and from the toilet! That’s right, it’s the “murse!”

“Guys are grasping the benefits of carrying, go ahead and say it, a purse

It takes a big man to carry a lady-like bag.

Wallets, cell phones, keys, PDAs, laptop computers – even the deepest of pockets can’t hold everything the average guy is hauling around these days. While no-frills nylon gym totes or ho-hum pleather business cases would suffice, men are increasingly open to carrying a bag with a bit of style … something more refined.

Enter the murse – a masculine version of the purse.”

A “masculine version of the purse?” Please! That’s like the “masculine version” of mascara or high heel shoes — there ain’t no such animal. Oh, but don’t worry, guys; the folks at the Chicago Tribune found the biggest manly man on the planet to assure you that you don’t have to be taking estrogen shots to carry a murse around. So who did they get? An NFL offensive lineman? The winner of an ultimate fighting championship? Perhaps former general Tommy Franks? No, even better…

“It’s not like you’re carrying a teacup poodle,” says “Queer Eye for the Straight Guy” fashion guru Carson Kressley. “Get over it.”

…Though Kressley will break out a Louis Vuitton clutch or short-handled satchel when traveling or running from show to show during Fashion Week, his daily murse is often a simple suede messenger bag.

“You don’t have to spend a lot of money to get a great one,” Kressley says.

Bold designer handbags and smaller purse-like totes are great accessories for fashion-forward men, but Kressley and Pask acknowledge the average Joe needs a healthy dose of self-confidence to carry them.

“They can look a little too girly for most guys,” Kressley says. “That’s a look reserved for the true meterosexual.”

Wait a second — the “true metrosexual?” I know someone who said that he was a “metrosexual:” Howard Dean! Sure, Howard changed his mind later, but a murse would work so well for Howard. Not only would it be great for offsetting his “angry man” image, but it would go so well with the emasculated, wimpy style of foreign policy that he and his backers on the left espouse. Just think about it, Howard! If I’m a conservative Republican who’s telling you to wear it because I think it’ll look silly, then it must be good idea!

Hat tip to Ravenwood’s Universe for the story.

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