Ghostbusters: Second Coming Of Gozer Imminent

Ghostbusters: Second Coming Of Gozer Imminent by Rip Rowan: According to a press release by Dr. Peter Venkman of Ghostbusters, Inc., a second coming of the ancient Sumerian god Gozer is "days or weeks, not months or years" away.

Ghostbusters, a paranormal elimination company based in New York, was responsible for the 1984 protonic reversal of Gozer when the ancient God made its last Earthly appearance.

"We are quite confident that Gozer the Gozerian, a.k.a. Gozer the Destructor, Volguus Zildrohar, and the Traveller, is prepared to return to Earth at any moment," explained Venkman. "All of the signs are here."

Ghostbusters technical analyst Dr. Egan Spengler explained the reason for the concern. "We’ve seen this sort of thing before. Total Reality Inversion. It’s the same phenomenon we saw last time Gozer arrived."

Dr. Raymond Stoltz continued, "You have Tony Blair turning into a warmongering hawk. George W. Bush becoming a nation-builder. Saddam Hussein being trusted by liberals. The French siding with the Russians. Germans categorically refusing to make war!"

"Human sacrifices, dogs and cats living together! Mass hysteria!" concluded Venkman.

The team could not predict where the second coming of Gozer was likely to take place. However, all were in agreement that if the Destructor should choose to materialize in Baghdad, that would be "pretty cool."

If you liked this satire by Rip Rowan, you can see more of his work at the Skeptician.

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