G.I. Joe: A Real International Hero?

First they changed Superman’s, “Truth, Justice, and the American way,” to “truth, justice and all that stuff,” in the latest execrable, feminized Superman movie.

Now, they’re going to defile, “G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero,” by making the team into an international agency,

“Hollywood now proposes that in a new live-action movie based on the G.I. Joe toy line, Joe’s — well, “G.I.” — identity needs to be replaced by membership in an “international force based in Brussels.” The IGN Entertainment news site reports Paramount is considering replacing our “real American hero” with “Action Man,” member of an “international operations team.”

Paramount will simply turn Joe’s name into an acronym.

The show biz newspaper Variety reports: “G.I. Joe is now a Brussels-based outfit that stands for Global Integrated Joint Operating Entity, an international co-ed force of operatives who use hi-tech equipment to battle Cobra, an evil organization headed by a double-crossing Scottish arms dealer.”

That’s a great idea, isn’t it? Maybe they can put a little paisley beret on G.I. Joe and replace his kung-fu grip with a special paperwork hand that he can use to fill out forms in triplicate really quickly.

PS: There is at least one upside to taking children’s toys that honor US soldiers and turning them into an, “international force based in Brussels:” at least now G.I. Joe will really be anatomically correct.

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