Girl, 13, Gets Abortion, But No TV For A Week — Satire By Scott Ott

A 13-year-old girl, who ran away from a government home and got pregnant, today received permission from the state of Florida to abort her 14-week-old child.

However, a spokesman for the state Department of Children and Families announced that because she broke the rules by running away, “this young lady is in big trouble and gets no TV for a whole week.”

A Palm Beach County Circuit Court ruled that the teen was competent to make the decision to end the life of her child. But the judge refused to step in to lift the TV ban, dismissing her claims that the punishment could cause longterm emotional trauma.

“Running away from home is a serious infraction,” the judge wrote. “Maybe if she misses a few of her favorite shows, she’ll think twice next time.”

An attorney for the American Civil Liberties Union, which helped the girl secure the abortion, said the ACLU is still mulling whether to appeal the TV ban under the Eighth Amendment’s prohibition of “cruel and unusual punishment.”

Satire used with permission of Scott Ott from Scrappleface. You can read more of his work by clicking here.

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