Gov. Dean Heals Leper, Walks on Water By Scott Ott

Gov. Howard Dean cemented his Democrat presidential frontrunner status today when he healed a man of leprosy then walked across the surface of a small lake to his next campaign appearance.

The Vermont Governor also shocked the pundits with his simultaneous appearance on the covers of Time, and Newsweek.

Print journalists are writing about all the Dean talk and broadcast reporters are talking about all the ink he’s getting.

“Momentum is everything in politics,” said one unnamed political consultant. “Dean has grabbed it by doing startling things like criticizing the President, and rolling up his shirtsleeves. You should see the forearms on that guy.”

Professional journalists continue to chronicle the miracles performed by this former medical internist. Besides healing lepers and walking on water “Dr.” Dean has also raised hundreds of thousands of dollars on the Internet — a feat previously accomplished only by online pornographers and gambling companies.

Actor-Director Mel Gibson has optioned a script about the last 12 hours of Howard Dean’s life.

If you enjoyed this satire by Scott Ott, you can see more of his work at Scrappleface.

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