Great Mother Gaia has a special place in Hell Negative Karma for…bloggers.

Do you believe in reincarnation? Do you want to avoid coming back in the next life as one of these?

The largest meat-eating plant in the world is designed not to eat small animals, but small animal poo.

Better stop polluting Mother Earth, then. Because Goddess has a sense of humor, and if you spend this life harming Mother Earth, you’ll come back looking forward to that next dollop of rodent poop.

And who might be at risk? As a matter of fact, those who blog:

Oh, now this is rich. German greenies calculate that a blog which gets 15,000 hits or more a month (yay! we qualify!) pumps out 8 pounds of carbon dioxide a year.

There you have it, blogosphere. If you love the planet – and I know that you do, if only because that’s where you keep all your stuff – and if you believe that human-made carbon emissions are endangering that planet, then you must – I repeat: must cease blogging immediately.

Yeah, I know what you’ll say. “If we quit blogging, how will we inform the public about the dangers most human activities pose? How will we communicate the need to cut back on our carbon-glutted lifestyle?”

“How will we educate the ignorant masses about what’s best for them?”

Our blogging, you’ll argue, might be helping to choke Mother Earth on great gouts of thick black smoke, but in the end it’s really worthwhile, because so many others will see the folly of their ways through our efforts!

God, you are so predictable. And so typical. Your behavior doesn’t matter, see, because you care. Other people have to change their lifestyles, but not you. Al Gore, John Kerry, Michael Moore, and you.

When, really, you’d do so much more good by setting the example. Quit blogging now, you Global Warming Believers. Prove to us that you consider stopping man-made Global Warming to be the Fierce Moral Imperative of our age!

You don’t want to come back in the next life as a poop-eating plant, do you?

I’ll keep blogging, of course. Just to help you out. Every Great Moral Cause needs an enemy, after all.

(The TrogloPundit posted this really, really early this morning because he’s spending today at the AFP Defending the American Dream Summit in Wisconsin Dells, Wisconsin.)

Leave a Comment

Share this!

Enjoy reading? Share it with your friends!

Send this to a friend