Hey, Congress, stay away from my football!

Congress is thinking about legislating college football:

Federal legislation that could lead to a college football playoff tournament will move a step closer to reality on Wednesday in a hearing before a subcommittee of the U.S. House of Representatives.

Okay, I know what you’re thinking. Congress has no business mucking around with this. It’s not their business! Get back to work!

Now, ask yourselves this: would you rather have them mucking around with football? Or mucking around with health care?

Did you answer “football?” If so, what the hell is wrong with you? Yeah, yeah, health care, the economy, energy policy, etc. Legitimate targets for congressional attention.

And how are those going these days? Are they going well?

No. No, they’re not. So. Let’s leave the football alone, you bloodsucking disease-ridden parasites.

Luckily, the “legislation” in question doesn’t do much:

The Subcommittee on Commerce, Trade, and Consumer Protection will consider a bill that would allow the Federal Trade Commission (FTC) to prohibit any bowl game from calling itself a “national championship” unless the game is “the final game of a single elimination post-season playoff system.” The subcommittee is expected to vote on the proposal on Wednesday after a line-by-line consideration of the bill.

I’m not entirely sure that would survive a First Amendment challenge, but just in case, consider this my official notice of copyright on the phrase “national championship.”

Can I get in trouble for doing that?

Just for fun, compare that description of the bill to this paragraph, just a little later in the same story:

Written and sponsored by Rep. Joe Barton (R-Texas), the bill is a direct attack on the BCS and, if enacted, would bring the long simmering controversy over the BCS to an end.

Yeah, because they’d never think of something else to call it besides “national championship.”

I’m all for a college football playoff. I’ve written about it before: a playoff system will mean more football. And not just more football: more great football. Every argument against a college football playoff is nonsensical. It’ll mean more money for everybody. More sponsorships. The bowl traditions can still be maintained. And it’ll mean more football.

On the other hand, the bowl system isn’t the end of the world. Sure, there’s always a little controversy over who gets into the championship game. And…so? The bowl system produced the 2007 Fiesta Bowl: not only the greatest game I’ve ever seen, but also a damned fine Christian metaphor.

Yes, I know, Alabama’s in the championship game this year. Hey, no system is perfect.

So I want a playoff — at least a plus-one — but I’m not losing any sleep over it. I want Congress to stay out of it — not because it’s not their business (even though it isn’t), but because I’m afraid they’ll screw it up.

Sometimes the problems we have are simply better than the problems the solution creates. See: health care “reform.”

(The TrogloPundit blogs regularly at The TrogloPundit)

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