If Felons Can Vote, Then I Should Be Able To Carry At Polling Places — Satire By Frank J.
There are a number of restrictions to my conceal carry permit, such as I’m not allowed to carry in a school zone, at a post office, or to a polling place. In those situation, I just have to rely on my mad kung fu skillz. That was somewhat acceptable until I found out that Democrats are now pushing to allow felons to vote.
Now, conservatives have been making statement against the effectiveness gun control for a while in the form of “If someone is planning on killing someone, he won’t have any compunction about breaking gun laws.” Democrats must have finally taken that to heart and expanded the logic to “If someone is capable of murder, he probably won’t have any compunction about voting for a Democrat.” Now the DNC see violent offenders as an untapped resource to help push close elections to their side. And it works in more ways than just giving them more votes.
Think of what the new Democrat ads would be like:
ANNOUNCER: Now that felons have regained the vote, the Democrats want to see as many as possible at your local polling place. Yes, voting around you will be your newly enfranchised friends like these…
On screen appears mug shots of offenders along with their rap sheets.
Talk about voter intimidation.
It ain’t gonna work on me, bub. I say we lobby for us permit holders to now carry into polling places. Alarmists will worry about me running into the room with two guns blazing, but, while I will have two .45s pointed out in front of me, safeties off, fingers on the triggers, shouting, “I’m voting Republican! And, if any of you have a problem with it, make your move!” I will not be firing any rounds unless someone mistakenly thinks I’m bluffing. Yes, it could end in a violent shootout, but that’s true democracy for you. If you don’t like it, go to some country that doesn’t have democracy and we currently don’t have any immediate plans to invade (I can’t think of any off-hand, but I know there are some).
So, Democrats, go ahead and get felons the vote. Just expect me to come reasonably prepared… and I don’t just mean having read up on the issues. And, if one of your new voters causes me any trouble, he’ll end up with more holes in him than a punch card ballot.
Frank J. is a syndicated columnist whose columns appear worldwide on IMAO.us and is the author of such books as “Voting with Your Conscience and Your Colt” and “Fluffy Puppy Petey’s Wacky Wahhabism Adventure”.
This satire was used with the permission of Frank J. from IMAO. You can read more of his work by clicking here.