In My World: Stranger Danger — Satire By Frank J.


Barack Obama was alone in the playground playing with some blocks. “Now that that mean lady is gone, I’m gonna be pesident,” he said to himself.

Mahmoud Ahmadinejad slowly crept near him. “Hello, little Barry.”

Obama waved at him enthusiastically. “Hi! I’m Barack Obama, and I’ve been in the Senate…” He held up three fingers. “…this many years and now I’m gonna be pesident.”

“I heard!” Mahmoud sat down next to him. “So what are you up to?”

Obama stacked some more blocks. “I’m building a prison for all the mean people who don’t want to pay for universal healthcare and own guns.”

“It looks nice. Anyway, I think we should go somewhere and talk.” Mahmoud pointed to his van parked next the playground.

Obama suddenly became cautious. “My campaign manager said I’m not supposed to talk to dictators.”

“That’s crazy!” Mahmoud said. “I’m the democratically elected president of Iran. Shouldn’t you be able to talk to a leader of a country like me.”

Obama was hesitant. “I dunno.”

“And we both want American out of Iraq… I just work towards that end more actively. Shouldn’t we talk so we can better combine our energies to achieve a goal we both want.”

“Maybe… but my campaign manager told me…”

“And I lost my puppy and need your help finding him,” Mahmoud told him.

“Your puppy! Oh no! Where did you lose him?”

“Israel took him!” Mahmoud narrowed his eyes. “I will wipe them off the map.”

Obama was cautious again. “I really think I’m supposed to stay here.”

“But I have candy!”

“Yay! Candy!” Obama screamed as he scampered off towards Mahmoud’s van.

* * * *

“This just in: Senator Barack Obama has made a deal with Mahmoud Ahmadinejad to cut off all ties with Israel in exchange for five candy bars,” the anchorman said.

“I heard Ahmadinejad tried to only give him only four candy bars,” the anchorwoman commented, “but Obama negotiated him up to five. He is so shrewd. I just love him so much. I want to give myself to him sexually.”

The anchorman nodded. “Me too. I bet he has soft hands. Anyway, John McCain, who I remind you is very old, was quick to condemn Obama’s diplomacy, calling Obama a ‘little whippersnapper’ and told him and all his buddies to stay off his lawn.”

“I guess he doesn’t like black people,” the anchorwoman added.

The anchorman nodded again. “He is a Republican.”

This satire was used with the permission of IMAO.

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