Indicator You May Be Left Of Liberal By Spacemonkey
10. You never could throw your full support behind John Kerry once you found out his first name is found in the Bible, of all places.
9. One of the few reasons you couldn’t bring yourself to assasinate the president is you’d have to actually buy a gun.
8. Your opinions and values carry more weight than those that oppose you, because you care.
7. To save money you bought an effigy of Bush made of asbestos. You later returned it when you realized ‘the bush burned with fire, but the bush was not consumed.’ is ALSO found in the Bible.
6. You believe the death penalty should be abolished…after it’s applied to those that support it.
5. You believe that any news service that doesn’t keep ‘Bush is EV1L Incarnate’ as its lead story is undeniably linked to a Vast Right Wing Conspiracy.
4. Four years later and you are STILL protesting outside the Broward County Courthouse for Gore-Lieberman 2000.
3. You have made a sign which you carry to every protest that just says ‘NO!’. It’s written in your own blood from when you carved ‘I’m Sorry, World’ on your forehead.
2. You acknowlege the ‘Vast Right Wing Conspiracy’ exists and is inherently evil but often lose sleep at night worrying there are smaller ‘Widespread Right Wing Conspiracies’ that need to be stamped out too and aren’t getting the attention they deserve.
And the number one Indicator You May Be Left of Liberal….
1 You strongly believe cannibalism is wrong. Not because it takes a human life but because it’s…meat.
If you enjoyed this satire by Spacemonkey, you can read more of his work at IMAO.