Iraqi Zoo Animal Toll Continues to Climb By Scott Ott

by John Hawkins | September 19, 2003 11:59 pm

Congressional critics of the Bush administration today attacked the president for “the tragic quagmire” at the Baghdad zoo.

The death toll for Iraqi zoo animals continued to climb yesterday, as a U.S. soldier allegedly killed a Bengal Tiger[1] that was injuring another soldier.

In April, American soldiers shot and killed four lions which had escaped from the same zoo. Hundreds of other animals have been killed or released by looters.

“This zoo war was made up in Texas,” said Sen. Ted Kennedy, D-MA. “The carnivorous cats posed no imminent threat. The whole thing is a fraud.”

Mr. Kennedy’s Democrat colleagues slammed Mr. Bush for lacking “a zoo exit strategy and timeline.”

Meanwhile, French Foreign Minister Dominique de Villepin (who is a man) called for the zoo to be immediately turned over to a provisional authority consisting of “the more sentient mammals; chimps, orangutans, and whales.”

If you enjoyed this satire by Scott, you can read more of his work at Scrappleface[2].

Endnotes:
  1. Bengal Tiger: http://msnbc.com/news/969412.asp
  2. Scrappleface: http://www.scrappleface.com/

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