Jihadi Style Soccer

Apparently, there are some Islamo-Fascists out there getting steamed about all the Muslims who prefer playing soccer to blowing themselves up on Iraqi school buses. So, in an effort to make the world’s most boring sport even less interesting, these kooks have issued, “fatwas forbidding the game of soccer except when played under certain conditions and with the express intention of using the game as physical training for jihad.”

Here are just a few of the details from a fatwa issued by Sheikh ‘Abdallah Al-Najdi, from the Saudi daily Al-Watan, via Memri:

“2. One should not use the terminology established by the non-believers and the polytheists, like: ‘foul,’ ‘penalty kick,’ ‘corner kick,’ ‘goal,’ and ‘out of bounds.’ Whoever pronounces these terms should be punished, reprimanded, kicked out of the game, and should even be told in public: ‘You have come to resemble the non-believers and the polytheists, and this has been forbidden.’

“3. If one of you falls during the game and breaks his hand or his foot, or if the ball hits his hand, he shall not say ‘foul’ and shall not stop playing because of his injury. The one who caused his injury shall not receive a yellow or a red card, but rather the case shall be judged according to Muslim law in the case of a broken bone or an injury. The injured player shall exercise his rights according to the shari’a, as [is stated] in the Koran, and you must testify together with him that so-and-so tripped him up intentionally.

“13. If one of you inserts the ball between the posts and then starts to run so that his companions will run after him and hug him, like the players in America and France do, you should spit in his face, punish him, and reprimand him, for what do joy, hugging, and kissing have to do with sports?

Just to show you how whacked out this is, even the other wild eyed Wahabists from Saudi Arabia think this is out of line:

“The Mufti of Saudi Arabia, Sheikh ‘Abd Al-‘Aziz Ibn ‘Abdallah Aal-Sheikh, called on the appropriate authorities to “prosecute those involved in the publishing of these fatwas in a shari’a court for the crime they have committed.” He also called on the Saudi religious police in various areas to “track down those involved and prosecute them, in view of the dangers and the venom with which they are trying to influence society.”

When you have Saudi Arabian religious heavies, you know, the sort of people who endorse beating women with sticks for showing their ankles, essentially calling you a dangerous Islamic extremist, you know you’ve really gone too far.

Hat tip to Ace of Spades HQ for the story.

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