John Kerry Wants to Give Louisiana Purchase Back To France By William Grim

by John Hawkins | May 7, 2004 11:55 pm

Senator John Kerry, Democrat candidate for President, said yesterday during an address to the American Chamber of Commerce, that if elected he intends to give back the Louisiana Purchase to France.

“America owes everything to France,” said Senator Kerry. “No other country has treated us so poorly over the years. If it weren’t for France, what would self-loathing liberals like myself do?”

Legal experts say that Kerry’s proposal is based on a dubious understanding of the law and could result in years of litigation. The same legal experts say that the years of litigation stand to make legal experts extremely wealthy and so they are in favor of Kerry’s proposal.

If you enjoyed this satire by William Grim, you can read more of his work at Broken Newz[1].

Endnotes:
  1. Broken Newz: http://www.brokennewz.com

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