Kerry Accuses Bush of ‘Playing Race Card’ at Daytona By Scott Ott

George W. Bush became the first presidential candidate in 2004 to “play the race card” by appearing at the Daytona Speedway Sunday, according to John Forbes Kerry, the presumed Democrat nominee.

“Mr. Bush has again divided this country,” said Mr. Kerry. “By appearing at the Daytona 500 he has condoned an economic activity in which the elite win, and everyone else loses.”

The junior Senator from Massachusetts called NASCAR racing “another sweet oil deal for the Bush-Cheney-Halliburton cabal. It’s more than coincidence that Mr. Bush would make a surprise visit to oil-rich Iraq, and then do the same thing at Daytona.”

As president, Mr. Kerry said he would issue an executive order mandating that all NASCAR drivers use hydrogen-powered cars. The Kerry plan calls for the Daytona 500 to be held in Kyoto, Japan, under the supervision of the United Nations, with all drivers wearing baby-blue helmets.

If you enjoyed this satire by Scott Ott, you can read more of his work at Scrappleface.

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