Kerry Named Spokesman For National Waffle Council William Grim

Washington, DC – Senator John Kerry, the Democrat candidate for President, has just been named as the official spokesman for the National Waffle Council, the lobbying arm of the Association of Pre-Prepared Frozen Waffles (APPFW). Senator Kerry will be featured on print and television ads to help promote the sale of pre-prepared frozen waffles, the sales of which have been severely hurt in the past year with the rise of the carbohydrate-shy Atkins diet.

“Yeah, Senator Kerry waffles on the issues so much and speaks out of both sides of his mouth so often that we felt he would be a natural as the official spokesman for the waffle industry,” said Fred “Bootsy” L’Eggo, CEO of L’Eggo Waffles and President of the APPFW. “From now on, when you think waffle you think John Kerry.”

Sources close to the Kerry campaign say that the Senator is delighted with his new job, especially since for the first time in his life he actually has a real job and will no longer have to depend on his weekly allowance from his wife.

If you enjoyed this satire by William Grim, you can read more of his work at Broken Newz.

Share this!

Enjoy reading? Share it with your friends!

Send this to a friend