Kerry: Rumsfeld Should Quit to Display U.S. Justice By Scott Ott
U.S. Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld should resign immediately to demonstrate to the global community how the American justice system works, according to Democrat presidential hopeful John Forbes Kerry.
“Our system of justice says that a man is innocent until drummed out of office through the outcry of his political opponents,” said Mr. Kerry. “Our troops are fighting and dying so that someday Iraqis and Afghanis will enjoy that kind of justice, unhindered by the grinding cogs of so-called ‘due process of law’.”
Mr. Kerry added that when he becomes president, he’ll fire any cabinet member who won’t quit after his political opponents call for his resignation.
“The world is watching us,” said Mr. Kerry. “We must demonstrate that, in a free nation, justice is blind and deaf.”
If you enjoyed this satire by Scott Ott, you can read more of his work at Scrappleface.