Kerry Team Lines Up Witnesses to Senate Career by Scott Ott

The Kerry campaign ratcheted up its defense of the Democrat’s Senate record today, producing several U.S. Senators to attest to John Forbes Kerry’s presence during actual senate sessions.

The media-blitz came on the same day that the campaign trotted out witnesses to Mr. Kerry’s military exploits in Vietnam.

Mr. Kerry, who was elected to the Senate in 1984, faces allegations that he rarely attended intelligence committee hearings, missed many votes and sponsored no significant legislation.

But Sen. Edward M. ‘Ted’ Kennedy, D-MA, contradicted those claims.

“I saw John on several occasions during the past two decades,” said Mr. Kennedy. “I can’t recall if I saw him in person, or on C-Span, but he looked very senatorial and appeared to be doing something…you know, for the people.”

Another senator, who insisted on anonymity, agreed with Mr. Kennedy.

“I distinctly remember seeing John Kerry in the senate chambers on Christmas eve,” said the unnamed senator. “That picture of him working through the Christmas break is seared….seared in my memory. He gave no thought to himself. His devotion was to the common people whom he served with valor.”

If you enjoyed this satire by Scott Ott, you can read more of his work at Scrappleface.

Share this!

Enjoy reading? Share it with your friends!

Send this to a friend