Lack of Bush Eloquence Imperils Hurricane Victims — Satire By Scott Ott

Fears increased today among hundreds of thousands of refugees from the hurricane-ravaged gulf coast as they faced a Labor Day weekend with little hope of an eloquent speech from President George Bush.

As today’s New York Times editorial indicated, the president “gave one of the worst speeches of his life yesterday, especially given the level of national distress and the need for words of consolation and wisdom”.

Instead, the president devoted his first major post-Katrina address to laying out what the federal government is actually doing to help with disaster recovery.

One New Orleans man, currently living in the ‘Plaza End Zone’ section of the Superdome as he awaits news of his missing family members, said, “I can survive for some time with little water, no food and highly unsanitary conditions…but if I don’t hear some poetic words of comfort and stirring verbal imagery from the president pretty soon, I’m a goner.”

A White House spokesman said additional speech writers have been flown in to accelerate completion of “a magnificent, almost-Clintonesque display of rhetorical compassion.” However, it could take up to a week of pronunciation rehearsal before the president is ready to deliver the speech to the nation.

This satire was used with the permission of Scrappleface.

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