Matt Drudge’s Personal Diary Part 2 By The Chortler

January 3, 2005

PANGS OF HUNGER CONTINUE INTO MID-MORNING AFTER BURNT TOAST FOR BREAKFAST

January 2, 2005

OIL CRISIS!!! CAR RUNNING LOW!!!

January 1, 2005

CONFUSION!!! DISLOCATION!!! WAY TOO MANY BEERS DRUNK LAST NIGHT!!!

December 31, 2004

NOISES HEARD WELL INTO THE EVENING!!! NEIGHBORS HOST WILD PARTY!!!

December 30, 2004

END OF WORLD AS WE KNOW IT; GIRLFRIEND DUMPS ME

December 21, 2004

INDECISION MARS ONLINE REPORTER’S CHRISTMAS GIFT CHOICES

December 20, 2004

PAIN!!! MISERY!!! WHAT A HANGOVER!!!

December 17, 2004

SMOKE. FUMES. ‘IT WAS LIKE A WAR ZONE’ ONE WITNESS SAYS AS ONLINE REPORTER FORGETS ABOUT BURRITO IN MICROWAVE

December 16, 2004

BLACKOUT IN KITCHEN!!! MUST CHANGE LIGHT BULB!!!

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