More Haunted Items For Sale On Ebay
More Haunted Items For Sale On Ebay….& RWN:Apparently “haunted” items must fetch a higher price on Ebay than they otherwise would. Last week I ran across the, “Ghost In A Jar.” But, that jar paled in comparison to….drumroll please…., the “Ghost/Haunted/Cursed/DIBBUK BOX!” Yes, it’s the ultimate evil artifact! It’s so evil that it could be the 4th, 5th, & 6th members of the Axis of evil! It’s full of more evilicious eviltude than Osama Bin Laden, Saddam Hussein, Hitler, Medusa, Mao, Stalin, Vlad the Impaler, & Hannibal Lecter all put together! It’s so evil that…awwww, just read at the description…
“…Since the day I brought it home, I began having a strange recurring nightmare. Every time I have the horrible dream it goes something like this: I find myself walking with a friend – usually someone I know well and trust – at some point in the dream, I find myself looking into the eyes of the person that I am with. It is then that I realize that there is something different, something evil looking back at me. At that point in my dream, the person I am with changes into what can only be described as the most gruesome, demonic looking Hag that I have ever seen. This Hag proceeds then, to beat the living tar out of me. I have awakened numerous times to find bruises and marks on myself where I had been hit by the old woman during the previous night. Still, I never related the nightmares to the cabinet, nor do I think that I ever would have.
About a month ago, however, my sister, and my brother and his wife came over to my house and spent the night. The following morning, during breakfast, my sister complained that she had a horrible nightmare. She said that she recalled having had it a couple of times before, and went on to describe my nightmare exactly to the last detail. My brother and his wife froze as they listened, and then chimed in that they had both had the exact same dreams during the night as well. The hair was standing up on the back of my neck and still is. As we talked, it became clear that the common denominator was that each of us had the nightmare during the times that the cabinet was in our respective homes. I called my girlfriend and asked if she could recall having any nightmares recently. She described the same nightmare, same Hag, everything. When I asked her if she remembered the date when she had the nightmare, she said she did not. Then I asked if it happened to be the night before she gave me the cabinet back to sell for her. She said, “Yeah! Hey, how did you know that?!!!”
Now then, since my family discussion, it seems like all hell is breaking loose. For a week afterward I started seeing what I can only describe as shadow things in my peripheral vision. In fact, numerous visitors to my house have claimed that they have seen these shadow things. I put the cabinet in an outside storage unit and was awakened when the smoke alarm in the unit went off in the middle of the night. When I went to see what was burning, I opened the door and didn’t see any smoke. However, I did get hit with the smell of cat urine. When I went back inside, the smell was there in my house. I DO NOT OWN A CAT AND I NEVER HAVE. I went back outside and grabbed the cabinet. I brought it back inside and tried to research it on the Internet. While I was surfing the net, I fell asleep and once again had the same freakin’ nightmare. I woke up at around 4:30am (when it felt and smelled like someone was breathing on my neck) to find that my house now smelled like Jasmine flowers, and just in time to see a HUGE shadow thing go loping down the hall away from me.
I would destroy this thing in a second, except I really don’t have any understanding of what I may or may not be dealing with. I am afraid (and I do mean afraid) that if I destroy the cabinet, whatever it is that seems to have come with the cabinet may just stay here with me. I have been told that there are people who shop on EBAY that understand these kinds of things and specifically look for these kinds of items. If you are one of these people, please, please buy this cabinet and do whatever you do with a thing like this. Help me.”
I would be tempted to laugh the whole thing off…if I didn’t have a haunted copy of Noam Chomsky’s, “Manufacturing Consent: The Political Economy of the Mass Media”. A friend gave it to me as a gag gift and I was using it as a coaster…I think that’s what angered it!
From that night on I had horrible dreams! Some nights Paul Begala was on every channel, other nights Tom Daschle was saying that he was “disappointed” that we only raised taxes 30%, & one horrible night I even dreamed Jimmy Carter was President again (that one still frightens me).
Then there were the nameless dark shapes creeping through the house at all hours of the night and replacing all the meat in the fridge with tofu, changing my homepage to the New York Times, and writing, “Cuba has a fantastic healthcare system” on the bathroom mirror in toothpaste.
It has just gotten too creepy for me! That’s why I decided to sell the book here on RWN for the bargain basement price of $499.00. Hopefully some of the fatcats who tossed thousands of dollars at Andrew Sullivan during his fundraiser will take this cursed book off my hands. Maybe someone like the American Enterprise Institute or National Review could even figure out how to use the book to curse whoever the Democratic nominee is in 2004. Don’t underestimate the book’s terrifying power!!! Buy it now, before it falls into the wrong hands!!!