Nation’s School Report Card Shows Taxes Are Too Low

Nation’s School Report Card Shows Taxes Are Too Low By Scott Ott: A decline in reading skills among U.S. 12th-graders demonstrates that taxes are far too low across much of the nation, according to an unnamed spokesman for the National Education Association (NEA).

The teacher’s union representative said “huge influxes of cold cash” are needed in the tax-funded, government-regulated school system “for the good of the children.”

Only 36 percent of seniors tested at the proficient level in reading, which is down from 40 percent four years ago.

“There’s nothing like cash to make kids smarter,” said the NEA spokesman. “We believe that taxpayers still have some more money in their pockets. And they could use those dollars to fund higher teacher salaries, more administrative positions, and more school computers so kids can learn how to do PowerPoint presentations.”

This week the NEA will launch its “No Dollar Left Behind” campaign designed to ensure that every greenback has a chance to go to school.

If you liked this satire by Scott Ott, you can read more of his work at Scrappleface.

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