New Gore-TV News ‘Definitely Not Liberal’

Former Vice President Al Gore’s planned new all-news channel is “all-news channel,” according to Mr. Gore.

“We’re aiming for a younger, hipper, not liberal audience,” he said. “Our viewers will come from all parts of the political spectrum — from those who favor a government-run universal health plan, to those who think that Kofi Annan ought to be in charge of the U.S. military. We’ll even appeal to people who think that the rich don’t pay enough taxes.”

The network, a cross between CNN and MTV, will start operations as soon as Mr. Gore can muster enough advertising support.

“One of my advisors said liberal TV is dead on arrival with advertisers,” Mr. Gore added. “That’s why we’re not doing the liberal thing. We’ll cover stories that appeal to a broad audience — from people who support a woman’s right to choose abortion, to those who think the government should fund abortions on demand. Our newscasters will be a cross-section of ordinary Americans — peace protestors, homosexual activists, animal rights defenders and really smart Ivy League grads who could be President of the United States if all the votes had been counted just one more time.”

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