Written By : John Hawkins

So last night, I’m up really late walking the dog and we’re near the edge of my property, when he suddenly bolts into the neighbor’s yard. The guy wasn’t home and the dog had already peed, so no worries, right?

Anyway, this time of year, there are leaves everywhere and up against the neighbor’s fence, where the dog was, they were particularly thick. However, something had definitely caught Patton’s attention because he is sniffing this one particular area like there are two squirrels tossing a rancid steak back and forth to each other there.

I give him a few moments, but it’s cold, he has already done his business, and it’s time to get back in the house. So, I give him a “c’mon” and a minor tug on the leash, which is usually enough to bring him my way, and he ignores me like I don’t even exist. I try it again and still, it’s like I might as well be on Mars for all the reaction he gives me. But, it isn’t getting any warmer and we’re on my time, not the dog’s, so I start pulling him away from the spot.

When I do that, the dog buries his head in the leaves and comes out with a dead cat that’s almost half of his size, in his mouth. Apparently, he was hoping that I was going to let him take it in the house because, you know, what in the world could possibly be cooler to a dog than having his own dead cat?

At that point, I told him to drop it, he did, and I dragged him away, took him inside, and took particular care not to give him a chance to lick me on the face.

PS: There are pet and wild cats all over the place in this area. Although the cat wasn’t wearing a collar — so he was probably of the latter variety — I didn’t recognize the cat and can’t be sure whether he belonged to someone or just chose that unfortunate location to shed his mortal coil.

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