Please Hand Your Bags To “The Arabic Assassin” & Get On The Plane

Oh, yeah the Feds really have a handle on airport security.

You’re waiting in line forever, they’re actually checking grandpa’s shoes, and the screeners are feeling up women’s breasts to make sure they’re not carrying weapons. Meanwhile, they’re hiring a guy who calls himself “The Arabic Assassin” to handle the baggage:

“When Bassam Khalaf raps, he’s the Arabic Assassin. His unreleased CD, “Terror Alert,” includes rhymes about flying a plane into a building and descriptions of himself as a “crazy, suicidal Arabic … equipped with bombs.”

Until last week, Khalaf also worked as a baggage screener at George Bush Intercontinental Airport.

“I’ve been screening your bags for the past six months, and you don’t even know it,” said Khalaf, who also said Thursday that he is not really a terrorist and that his rhymes are exaggerations meant to gain publicity.

…An Internet search of Khalaf’s name brings up Web sites that feature his obscene, violent and misogynistic raps that threaten to fly a plane into a building on Sept. 11, 2005.

Khalaf, 21, was hired on Jan. 16 and fired July 7, according to a TSA termination letter that cited his “authorship of songs which applaud the efforts of the terrorists on September 11th, encourage and warn of future acts of terrorism by you, discuss at length and in grave and alarming detail various criminal acts you intend to commit, state your belief that the U.S. government should be overthrown, and finally warn that others will die on September 11, 2005.”

Khalaf, who was born in Houston and is of Palestinian descent, said working as a baggage screener was the best paying job he’s ever had. He said he hoped to use any extra money he earned to produce his CD.”

So we have a guy writing rap songs that “warn of future acts of terrorism” he’s going to commit while he’s working at George Bush Intercontinental Airport.

What do you even say to that? Maybe…

“Unless you’ve hired an actual member of Al-Qaeda to work on the planes, it can’t get any worse?”

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