Poll: Kerry Beats Bush in 1972 Presidential Contest By Scott Ott

Vietnam veteran John F. Kerry will soundly defeat National Guardsman George W. Bush in the 1972 presidential election, according to a new poll commissioned by the Kerry campaign.

“This election is not about the future, or my legislative record,” said Mr. Kerry, “It’s about what George W. Bush and I did more than three decades ago. Today’s issues pale in comparison to the relevance of my heroic service in Vietnam…and of course, Mr. Bush’s valiant efforts in Texas and Alabama from time to time.”

The poll has a margin of error of plus-or-minus 32 years.

If you enjoyed this satire by Scott Ott, you can read more of his work at Scrappleface.

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