Poll: Kerry Beats Bush in 1972 Presidential Contest By Scott Ott

by John Hawkins | February 12, 2004 12:42 am

Vietnam veteran John F. Kerry will soundly defeat National Guardsman George W. Bush in the 1972 presidential election, according to a new poll commissioned by the Kerry campaign.

“This election is not about the future, or my legislative record,” said Mr. Kerry, “It’s about what George W. Bush and I did more than three decades ago. Today’s issues pale in comparison to the relevance of my heroic service in Vietnam…and of course, Mr. Bush’s valiant efforts[1] in Texas and Alabama from time to time.”

The poll has a margin of error of plus-or-minus 32 years.

If you enjoyed this satire by Scott Ott, you can read more of his work at Scrappleface[2].

Endnotes:
  1. efforts: http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?file=/c/a/2004/02/11/MNGGO4U1DN1.DTL
  2. Scrappleface: http://www.scrappleface.com/

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