Public Service Announcement: John Kerry (From Wuzzadem)

And now for a public service announcement from Senator John Kerry of Massachusetts.

“Before you put your health, or the health of your loved ones, into the hands of a physician, make sure you get references, check with your state’s medical board, and don’t be afraid to ask questions. After all, there are people who want you around for a long, long, time. I’m Senator John Kerry, and now you know.”

This has been a public service announcement…

“You know, even if you do ask questions, you still might get screwed. I mean, ‘Are you sure I shouldn’t start with a little injection first, and see how it works out?’ sounds like a simple question to me, but no, Mr. Big-Shot DC Plastic Surgeon says he’s “Done this thousands of times,” and then pumps my forehead full of enough Botox to flatten out the coat on a Sharpei. What the hell does he care? He doesn’t have to walk around looking like a [email protected] freak the middle of a presidential campaign!”

This has been a public…

“And it’s not just doctors, either. Watch your @ss if you ever go into one of those high-priced tanning salons. Sure, they’ll tell you they know how to make you look “Like you’ve been at the beach for a couple of days,” and the next thing you know, your face is on a pumpkin on the cover of Mad Magazine, only you’ve got bolts in your neck, a gap between your front teeth, and you’re the only pumpkin in the world with a perfectly smooth forehead. Lot of [email protected] good an attorney will do you then. Public figure my @ss.”

This has been a public service announcement from Senator John Kerry of Massachusetts.

Satire used with permission of John From Wuzzadem. You can read more of his work by clicking here. Full Disclosure: Wuzzadem is currently an advertiser with RWN.

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