Q&A Friday #60: What Did You Do In Vietnam, Chickenhawk?

by John Hawkins | March 2, 2007 6:42 pm

Question:

From: mike ferrell
Sent: Friday, March 2, 2007 11:23 PM
Subject: a chickenhawk and a moron both

What did you do during VietNam?

Answer: I was going to college in Oxford, burning my draft card, and writing letters to important friends, telling them that I loathed the military and asking them to help get me out of the draft while looking for a cold, manipulative shrew to marry who wouldn’t mind if I fooled around on the side — just kidding! Actually, I was born in 1971, so I guess I was working on learning how to walk, talk, and eat solid food ’round that time.

Now I have a question for you, Mike: do you support the war in Afghanistan? Most liberals say they do. If so, why aren’t you over there fighting it, chickenhawk? How dare you advocate sending our troops into harm’s way when you’re sitting here at home, boiling tofu dogs in day old bong water and listening to Indigo Girls CDs? For shame!

PS: Thanks, Mike, for sending me what may be the most intelligent, coherent, well thought out email I’ve ever received from a liberal. Granted, that’s not exactly a high bar to jump over. Basically, any email that didn’t accuse Bush of knocking down the World Trade Center or have any four letter words in it would have qualified, but still you have to give credit where it’s merited.